femme fatale

princezuko:

“i don’t have sob stories like all of you”

Him:
You like attention. You dislike people pointing it out. The reason you act all tough is because you think that if you don’t, you’re just a normal ‘girl’ girl, which you don’t believe will let you stick out in anyway. So by being tough, you’re ‘different’ and men, some men, like being challenged/refused. Which is why you probably have a large amount of male friends, a smaller amount of female friends, but a hard time getting an actual boyfriend because the tough girl thing either A turns them off, or B gets them keen, then when they’re close and see you all soft and nice and wanting to please they freak out/are confused.

That’s my analysis of it anyway.

I’m tired of people having an ‘analysis’ of who I am - surface level or not. This is coming from someone who I barely know - always playing that kind of caring card with others, never showing their true character. Which is rich. I had to turn around and remind them that they liked to play the supportive role to people’s flaws, but that because of this at its root it’s manipulation. They almost always give me a soulless feeling and as a human, it bothers me. Apart of me is angry with myself though because that’s how I am. I feel like its my own fault for digging a grave, a hole, in which I didn’t want to step in. I hate thinking of the things I told and confided in this person, just to see a complete 180. It bothers me, emotionally and I can’t help but feel like I’m tired of dodging relationships and connections for this very reason, but always land myself in a hell hole cancerous connection with that wrong person.

In fact, for the longest time I’ve felt shaky and dealt with emotions of insecurity that most people get the fuck over through HS. I’m so exhausted of being seen as this ‘tough girl’ where people feel the urge to try to decipher my strength for something deeper and hidden. I think overall I’m just sick of being judged, I don’t see myself as having 1,000 complex layers that need to be studied and solved. I want to be able to take things at face value, trust my friends and family without having to wonder when they’ll flip a switch. I hate betrayal, period. Why does this shit run so deep?